Singing Heart, Burning Wallet

I'm still hyperventilating.
REAL SIMPLE HAS INTRODUCED A LINE OF PERFECTLY PACKAGED, ULTRA SEXY ORGANIZATIONAL PRODUCTS!
If I was of few words, I would stop right there and let those words stand on their own merit. But I'm not of few words, I'm of many words and here are the words that come to mind: Mesmerizing! Electrifying! Compelling!
When I saw the shelves of my local Target chock full of Real Simple organizing solutions I first pinched myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming and then instantly ran a mental inventory of all my assets to see how fully I could invest in these shelves. These shelves that contain the key to delivering me from the evil of disorganization for thine is the power and glory of Real Simple. This picture doesn't even begin to do this line justice, but it's the only photo I could find. Even if I did buy the Real Simple Index Card Wheel retailing for $3.99, I couldn't post a picture of it because I promised my husband (Hi D!) that I would no longer give in to my packaging addiction. (A wise mandate as I'd probably purchase my own financial ruin if it were laminated and packaged in a cute box!)
So you won't find me using the Real Simple Index Card Wheel retailing for $3.99 to keep track of my various to do lists by the ingenious color-coding system. Not me, no way no how.

My name is Hello Kitty and I'm addicted to packaging.

Love in the afternoon...

It's moments like this that make all the "Clean Restroom" days worth it! We have an afternoon routine now and it goes something like this:
Clara: "Mommy put on princess music pwease!"
I que up ‘Once Upon A Dream’ from the Sleeping Beauty soundtrack.
Max waits in the wings (aka dining room) for the call...
Clara, coyly: "Prince Phiwip, Oh Prince Phiwip..."
Me, prompting Max to come forth in grandeur: "Ahem, Ahem, AHEM!"
Max comes around the corner, proud and gallant and true.
Clara gives her hand to him and they dance,dance, DANCE swirling around our kitchen as if they were on Dancing with the Stars.
I float around them with Zoe on my hip on a cloud of joy and dismay that these are the same two children who were in full armor over something trivial, like who gets the last grape popsicle, moments ago...

Back to that cloud...

Cooking Lemon Risotto with Clara

Clara: "Hi Mamma, what you making Mamma?"
Me: "Rice baby" (really Lemon Risotto)
Clara: "Oh I love rice!"
Me, thinking: (sarcastically): Sure you do...
Clara: "What's that momma?"
Me, suspiciously: "Lemon"
Clara: "Oh I love lemons mamma"
Me: "I know baby so you'll LOVE lemon rice"
Me, thinking: It's going to be another night of pasta and tofu pups for you...
Clara: "What's that mamma?"
Me: "Butter baby"
Clara: "Oh I LOVE butter mamma!"
Me thinking: Actually, that is true...I've seen you lick pats of butter on many an occasion.
Clara, dramatically: "Daddy, were having lemon rice tonight!"
Daddy, suspiciously: "Oh good Clara."
Clara yelling: "Max, were having lemon rice tonight!"
Max: No answer
Clara: "Mamma why is it pink?"
Me: "Because Mommy didn't have dry white wine, so I used red wine instead."
Clara: "I don't like red mommy"
Me thinking: OK I see where your going with this...
Clara: "Mommy can I help?"
Me: "Sure you can stir it Clara." (Maybe involvement will endear you to the dish)
Clara: "Ok mommy, I pat rice down like a cupcake, is that good mamma? I make a cupcake mommy!"
Me thinking: Here's where your prepping me that your expectation is a cupcake, not Lemon Risotto, so that you can act disappointed when I present you with the Risotto. This is the beginning of the end.
Me: "Clara are you going to eat Lemon Rice?"
Clara: "Yes, I'm really sure mamma that I want to eat it."
Me: Big sigh..."OK baby"
Clara, stirring risotto: "Mamma, you like my cupcakes? They are pretty hot, but you cant eat them yet. Zoë, you like my cupcakes?"
Me thinking: Oh no, don't say that! How the heck am I going to get Risotto past Zoë's lips when she expects cupcakes!!!
Clara: "You put more milk (aka chicken stock) in there?"
Me: "Yes, Clara." (Must not correct her and say the word chicken stock for fear of scaring her off... this situation is already tenuous at best.)
Clara: "I love helping you mamma and I love lemon rice"
Me: "This is going to be so tasty Clara, are you going to love it?"
Clara: "Oh yes mamma I going to love it, it's very pretty! Can I taste it?"
Me: "Yes Clara, here you go...."
Clara: (Recoils in horror as I start to lift the spoon) and screams: "NOOOOO, I don't like lemon rice."
Me,thinking: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10...

The way I see it#1

I picked up a Starbucks coffee on my way home from the movies tonight. Their cups now have "The Way I see it" quotes on them which I LOVE and am going to run on my blog, only with the way that I, not Rev Run from Run-DMC, sees it. I've had the compulsion to communicate every little thing that occurs to me, I'm told, since I was about three. This would fall under the category of Things My Husband Doesn't Love About Me, so I usually call my mom and if I get her voicemail I start running down my speed dial to find some poor unsuspecting friend that can lend me their ear for a minute or two… I think it might work out well for all the peeps in my life if I work this compulsion out here, in virtual bedlam where the end is just one click away…

So here goes#1
The way I see it, if you are giving a gift to a baby who has the capacity to enjoy repeating sounds but is incapable of pressing tricky spots on toys AND doesn't have a mommy who likes pressing tricky spots or older siblings willing to be put on task, find something else to give. These toys usually say for ages 3 and up in bold print for good reason. MOSTLY SO THAT A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS ARE NOT INITIATED as detailed in the following three scenarios:

Scenario One: The Mommy will present the baby with the age inappropriate gift, press the button and walk away in anticipation of a moment to herself. The music, or sound (usually irritating) will probably play for 5 seconds if she's lucky. The child will love the music and will want to hear it over and over and over again (ad infinitum) but will be unable to press the tricky spot to make it happen. The Mommy will be too busy to keep going back to press the tricky spot ad infinitum so the baby, feeling helpless, will scream in frustration. The mommy will feel extremely sad inside.
Scenario Two: The Zoë, uh, I mean baby, will hear the noise once and will like it and want "AGAIN". This baby is fiercely independent and will not allow the mother to press the tricky spot but will throw the toy about or bear down on the toy with full weight of her body because she kind of gets the idea, but not really, so her attempts are futile. The Zoë, uh I mean baby, will scream in frustration and the mother will feel helpless that she passed the fiercely independent gene on. The mommy will feel like a failure even though, like all mommies, she has probably accomplished more by 9am than most non-mommies will accomplish in a week.
Scenario Three: The child and the mommy will sit together for hours on end enjoying this toy together with mommy happily pressing the tricky spot over and over again for her baby and while I admire this mommy for being so good, I can't relate to this mommy so I'm not sure how this would turn out. I know if I pretended to be that good mommy and did this, I'd be ready for "them" to come take my away in a white suit by 4 pm., London time.

I wouldn't know anything about SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS happening so I guess that's just something I needed to get off my chest. Phew.

This is the authors opinion, not necessarily the opinion of Hello Kitty. She would probably unleash Sanrio Nation on my buttocks for saying anything negative about SPonge Bob Square pants who is featured in the photo. I have always suspected that there is a steamy affair going on between these two charaters. Additionally, this post may not even be the authors opinion tomorrow as the author changes her mind with great frequency. Read this blog at your own risk.

Chi: Endcap on Aisle seven next to the Alpha Bits

Dave handed me his shopping list this morning as I was stumbling out the door to go to work. Besides finding it interesting to see what my husbands grocery needs are, when I read number 17 the coffee I was drinking came spewing out of my nose, which seems to have cured my headache!

1. Cow milk
2. Soy milk
3. Juice
4. Dog food
5. Olive oil, light
6. Coffee
7.. Bread
8 Oats
9. Baking powder
10. Cheese
11. Pasta
12. Peanuts
13. Toilet paper
14. Paper towels
15. Fruit
16. Yogurt
17. My chi

Can’t wait to ask my local grocer “In which aisle can I find my husbands Chi?” Hopefully he or she will respond with something like “Chi? Check endcap on Aisle seven next to the Alpha Bits”

Our day trip to Block Island!

On spur of the moment Max, Clara, Zoë, friends and I ventured today to a place I call Glacier, I mean Block Island. An Island that lures you to its windswept bluffs one mile off the coast only to serve up near freezing temperatures!
Clara was my only dissenter on the bench even though we were dressed semi-appropriately and provided her with a 3:5 adult/child ratio, which beats 1:3 at home, but maybe she's better at math and it's really just a wash? She spent at least 62 minutes asserting her position that this was the last place she wanted to be. Only my love of the sun, surf, and a pre-paid ticket on the 3pm Ferry prevailed.
Max had a great time fishing with his pal A and curiously he didn't seem to care at all if on his fishing line nibbles were naught. This is the same boy who routinely pitches a fit if he loses at checkers which leads me to believe he's just pleased he has something with a hook on it, which I'm sure falls into the classification of WEAPON.
Zoë also enjoyed her favorite past time of finding shards of glass and eating sand while I performed cartwheels and handstands in the sand. J and I even found the time to discuss the sometimes emotionally thorny position of Mamma to the heavy metal tune of Clara's "I WANT TO GO HOME". I confessed to J that when Clara is asserting her position like that for more than 20 minutes straight, I like to position my fingers right at her bottom at which point I have to summon up all 69 inches of vertical strength I have to not to pinch her. Hard. Truly I'd never harm a fuzzy duck hair on her body because I love her like crazy, but it doesn't mean I don't think about it.
All in all I feel this trip was a success with the exception of aforementioned poignant assertions, a poorly executed but still tasty lunch on main street and a dialogue with a drunken woman just as we were docking back on the Mainland. She was informing Max and his pal that it was her first trip off Block Island in a year and she couldn't get over how much everything had changed. And by everything changing she meant all of her brain cells that had shrunken due to alcohol consumption so that while everything was in fact exactly the same, it all looked completely different. As she went on and on, I don't think she noticed that the two 5 year olds she was dialoguing with were more interested in her dragon breath than her insights.



But really, Block Island is a beautiful place to visit, I'd just recommend July and August for sensible folks...

Summer Is Coming!

Summer is coming! Summer is coming. Uh-oh Summer is coming.
Days spent poolside and beachside.
Days spent with me barking out commands:
"Clara, no running around the pool!"
"Max, don't go past your knees in the waves!"
"ZOEEEEEE. ZOEEEEE. Stop eating sand baby!"
Days where we lose the first 2 hours of the day to sunscreen application and the last 2 hours of the day to Tics searches.
Days where were Daddy does sunburn tests every nite to make sure Mommy was diligent.
Ladybug infestations.... Mosquitos...

Wait a minute. I just had an emotional makeover yesterday! I can't be slipping back into negativity this quickly!

SUMMER IS COMING!

Mamma had a makeover!

Dear Max, Clara and Zoë,
I have good news! I've undergone an emotional makeover, which I think will work out quite nicely for you! I'm simply bubbling over with enthusiasm for my new and improved perspective on the three of you: What I once considered characteristics worthy of exorcism, I now consider features:
- Willful temperaments? Keep 'em coming! I now see this as an indication of your future performance as world changing, steadfast individuals. Good for you!
- Finicky eating? Superb! You're going to have discerning taste buds which is just dandy. It means that someday when YOU'RE taking ME out for dinner it will be top shelf meals and old vine red Zinfandels for us! No more Cracker Barrel!
- Sibling rivalry? Uncle Dave and I suffered through approximately 10 years of mutual torment and now we find each other to be quite amusing. And all the stories from the old days make for great laughs around the dinner table..
- Generalized neediness? Go get what you want out of life! I know I don't take NO for an answer, so how can I possible expect you to?
- Flakiness? (a.k.a: I used to love Green but now I want the RED cup.) This could be considered favorable if you decide to die your hair purple, which while I'm not fundamentally opposed to the concept, I really don't think it works with any of your yellow skin undertones.
- Dirty Diapers: (Hmmm. May have to get back to you on this one.)

In order to keep my "Up with Toddlers/Preschoolers" attitude, you may notice Mamma slipping out of the room on occasion. If I start to feel frustrated, I'm simply going to situate myself in the naughty room (a.k.a: my bedroom) for a break where I'll drink espresso and comb through the pages of In Style, People and Real Simple magazines. I maintain that you can keep yourselves alive (unassisted) for at least 10 minutes.
As an outward manifestation of my inward metamorphosis, I'm changing my look here. No more mournful black backdrop. It's all polka dots from here on out!
Love,
Mamma

Dear Tooth Fairy

Dear Miss Tooth Fairy,
I have a client for you! This will be our first tooth offering and we are quite excited about it. My "eldest" son Max has a wiggler on the bottom row, first tooth on your left.
I think perhaps an undercooked corn on the cob hastened the process, but Max is thrilled nonetheless! In fact, if you're available, we'd appreciate a sprinkling of fairy dust to speed the process along... We brush and floss regularly so I think you can anticipate a fairly pleasant experience! Whats the going rate these days for teeth anyway? I could really use 20 bucks to buy Max a fishing pole.
Looking forward to your feedback.

H.K.

The Cabinet of Misfit Sippy Cups

Imagine that your babysitting Clara for the afternoon and she asks for some "juicy". You'll see this as a simple request and you'll head over to my kitchen cabinets to grab a cup for her. See these 2 sippy cups in there? They appear virtually identical. Both are plastic and cylindrical in shape. They each taper at the bottom and can hold up to 225 ml of fluid. They make nice listening devices if you put them up against a wall. The one on the left is green; the one on the right is orange. If your with me still, your probably thinking and what the Hell is Hello Kitty's point? STOP RIGHT HERE AND STEP AWAY FROM THE CABINET. You might be making the mistake of your life. FLUIDS POURED IN THESE CUPS DO NOT TASTE THE SAME! Just try serving Clara up her beverage of choice in the orange one. You will set a series of events into motion that are unfortunate and unpleasant and no amount of money I'm paying you to baby-sit will be commensurate to the experience. First she will accept the cup from you, but within 1.5 seconds she will realize its not green, throw her head back (the ringlets in her hair will bounce up and down which almost makes this worth it), open her mouth as wide as the ocean and screech "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO". Then she will cast down the unendurable orange sippy cup to the floor with such force that the lid will pop off and liquid will spew all over the floor. Clara will run from the spillage and lay down on the floor as if she has the expectation that mother earth will compasionately open up and take her from this person that has failed her. She will lay there for no less than 3 minutes writhing in emotional pain. And no, I don't give in to these antics.... I re-fill the orange sippy cup again, calmly place it on the chair and leave the room. After she's squeezed every last drop of emotion out of her little body, she slowly gets up and resurfaces as my bright-eyed sunshine tulip dreamboat, walks over to the chair and partakes of the juice in the orange sippy cup.
So you think the answer is simple.... just buy all green cups and be done with it. But nothing is simple in Bedlam. Two weeks ago her favorite was the YELLOW one, which is now being cast aside in the closet of misfit sippy cups. So if your coming to babysit and want to have an easy time of it, come with your own color wheel.

Namaste.

Event Planning

Dear Max, Clara and Zoë,
There's something you should know about me and while I'm sure Daddy will be sitting you down someday to have "that talk", let it be said here first: I'm either brilliant or unrealistic in the realm of weekday event planning (As opposed to weekend planning where we have your pragmatic father at the rudder!)
These events I plan for us tend to be fairly sophisticated for a cluster of 4 humans, median age: 11.375. Paramount in my planning is traveling distances in excess of 60 miles, as I decompress with distance from the changing table. The wretched changing table over which I spend countless hours wrangling babies who don't much care for diaper changes! If I were smart I'd stay close to that changing table as, apparently, we take our colons with us and then we're involved in the extreme sport of changing diapers in our minivan without the benefit of space and 2000 square feet to disperse the aroma.
I digress. These failings are a result of mamma being more of an "idea" person. In my head things always go favorably, especially when I'm drinking my morning coffee while Daddies tending to all of you're A.M. needs. I'm starting to think we'd all be better of if I felt overwhelmed on a more regular basis and stuck closer to home, but my adventurous spirit always win out! For example I've been known to think it could be great fun to take the three of you to a big city 70 miles away where there's a magnificent Asian Market. I get my ME time (at the Asian Market) and then we swing by the playground on the way home for YOU time. I like to keep it 50/50. Only on these long trips I usually don't have sufficient supplies to account for Clara's eating habits (beige food only please), Max's yearning for mobility and action figures ("How long till we're there mom? Where are my rescue heroes!"), and Zoë's extremely efficient and bountiful excretory system. So with disappointing frequency, these day trips end with all of us hungry and sad in some public bathroom (on the way home if were lucky!) where I come to the conclusion that maybe this trip wasn't such a good idea. But when these trips do go well, it's smiles and photo opportunities all around and I'm left wanting more.
More Asian Markets!
More trips to the Zoo!
More summer day's seaside with rip tides and sand eating babies!
So you're stuck with ME. Unless you decide to overthrow your leader, at which point I'll step aside and we can spend our days in gluttonous splendor eating gummy bears and watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Love, Mamma

Which Care Bear are YOU?

Which Care Bear are YOU? Click here to find out!

I just put my middle petunia to sleep and only because she's my bright-eyed sunshine tulip dreamboat did I drag my way through the Care Bear Storybook Treasury once more. After reading through several stories, I put my dreamboat down and meandered back to my computer, my brain in a state that would have posted a big flat line on Electroencephalography. But like a moth to a flame, somehow I ended up on the Internet taking a Care Bear personality test. (I know mom, there's a label for me - lets figure it out and get me the medication I need toot sweet!) Happily, all my fears were put to bed… I'm nothing like FUNSHINE Bear… I'm WISH bear! Click here for my profile, isn't it fabulous?
Click here for Funshine Bears profile. Yeah, yeah, Funshine is filled with unlimited energy, is always willing to have a good time and is extremely resourceful. And yes, he likes to tackle problems and tasks head-on, BUT and that's a big BUT, he often take on way too much and his stubbornness won't allow him to accept help from others! The thought of it!

Hmmm. Now that I think about it perhaps Funshine pushes my buttons because were so much alike.
I think I'm having an "Aha!" moment. Nah, probably just the wine talkin...

Now tell me, which care bear are YOU?

S.O.S

If your not sure what this photo means, click here.

But the curative tonic is near...
Diane Sawyer
Tom Cruise
The Interview
Friday, Primetime 9pm

Brilliant, Talented and Fabulous

Max, Clara and Zoe,,

Today I post one of my favorite poems...

"Brilliant, Talented and Fabulous" by Marianne Williamson
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small doesn't serve the world.There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.We were born to make manifest the beauty of the Universe that is within us.It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own Light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
Marrianne Williamson

May you always feel brilliant, beautiful, talented and fabulous from the inside out.

Love, MAMMA

If I had an entire weekend to myself I would...

The following question was posed over at CHBM and this is something I often like to pray, uh I mean, think about.
“If I had an entire weekend to myself I would...”



Friday
7:30 pm: Go to sleep
Saturday
10am: Wake!
10am to Noon: Groom!
Noon to 4pm: Shop!
4-6pm: Nap!
6pm till the clock strikes me... Eat, Drink and Be Merry!

Sunday
10 am: Wake!
10 am to Noon: Watch a movie with subtitles!
Noon - 2pm : Read trashy magazines to finally catch up on whats really happening with Brittany and Kev's relationship etc...
2pm - 6pm: Pray for an extension...

Hello, My Name is Hello Kitty and Im addicted to packaging...

I was strolling down the cleaning products aisle at Whole Foods Market this afternoon, sans kids, musing that if I propped myself up with the entire line of "Mrs. Meyers Clean Day" lavender scented eco-friendly cleaning agents in delicious packaging, I'd WANT to clean! That with the support of this line, I'd transform into a Domestic Cleaning Goddess where the buzz about town would be "Have you been by Kitty's house lately? It's so clean! And that subtle soothing lavender scent!"
But then these gloves caught my eye... If these pink, natural, breathable, 100% latex gloves can't get me to clean, nothing will! And the way shes having such fun with bubbles... it just makes me want to go all out after my bathroom soap scum!

Plus I've been promised:

• No more wet hands, sleeves or arms!
  CUFF CATCHES LIQUIDS!

Casabella Water Stop Gloves: $4.99
Cover Girl Outlast All Day Lip Color in "Pink Chiffon": $6.99
Looking like a pin up girl while I'm cleaning the potty: PRICELESS

Introducing...Max the Ring Bearer and CLara the FLower Girl!

The East Side of Somewhere

Rise and shine little ones,
We're going to a wonderful place today! A neighborhood on the East Side of Somewhere, where Beautiful Shiny People live with their Beautiful Shiny Children! We'll be heading over there after mommy can find some clean coordinating outfits and accessories (not as easy as it sounds). We need to represent well for the country folk who live with us on the West Side of Nowhere. Because on the East Side of Somewhere, you'll find its bustling with mommies and children dressed in snappy outfits and matching socks!
Mommy's mentor, co-conspirator and friend for 18 years lives there. We went to college together and while she was quite bright and able to multi-task, Mommy found it difficult to keep up with our grueling schedule of classes all day, drinking all night (She introduced mommy to wonderful chap named Johnny Walker), and rowing practice at 5am. The school wasn't at all pleased with my performance, gave me a score of 1.0 and asked that I take a break for a semester to reflect on my weaknesses. I returned the following semester fearing a repeat performance, but somehow the time I spent reflecting with new friends at the local community college, helped me to develop a more mature multi tasking function.
Since K has special skills Mommy often looks to her for advisement. She started having babies about 2 years ahead of me, and then we followed the same schedule for the next 4 years, so between us we have 6 children 7 and under. (Needless to say she's been there.)
You guys LOVE going to K's house. When we arrive she will greet us with gusto and the 3 of you will find someone just about your size to play with. K will probably look mommy over and want to dress me in something like this or this, so we'll amble up to her Closet of the Order of Shiny Fashionable Beautiful People. Even though she's been able to obliterate her muffin top post three children, there always seems to be a article or 2 from the good old days of the M.T. Don't get me wrong, I never feel judged by K, she's just enthusiastic about her apparel, accessories and matching socks. Whereas I'm enthusiastic about finding something clean to wear and belong to the Closet of the Order of Falling Piles of Mismatched Clothes from the 80's.
Then again, her youngest is about 2 years older than my youngest so I'm highly optimistic for our future. So little ones, get ready... set... GO! Lets see who can find a matching outfit first... and there's gotta be an accessory around here somewhere...

#1 processor for all your #2 transactions.

Dear Zoë,
It seems like you've been pooping allot lately, which makes for a long day, but then you toddle towards me with your dreamy blue eyes and winged hair tips and my heart takes to flight! Yes, my darling… even with no end in site, I will keep on being the #1 processor for all your #2 transactions.
Love, Mamma

My own Project Runway

In honor of one of my top 2 Reality shows, I decided to conduct my own Project Runway Saturday night.
Challenge:
Transform chocolate brown, full length, satin bridesmaid skirt into hot mini skirt in 20 minutes utilizing only chicken shears and the following apparel/accessories: Denim sleeveless jean jacket (Banana Republic of course), 1 carrot Ziamonds, creamy grosgrain ribbon and my favorite winter hat

The play by play:
6:00 pm: I quickly grabbed the (never used) chicken shears and cut the skirt in half, bringing it just above my knee. To keep it interesting I really mixed up the hem with uneven lines and tears, which coincidentally, seemed to be the only type of cuts the chicken shears could make.
6:15: I'm panicking. I try the skirt on... cute, but I needed something to make it FIERCE. As quick as two shakes of a lambs tail, I rip the lining out, wrap it around my hips, tie it in the back and VOILA I have a belt/tail! I spied the creamy ribbon still unused, so I had Dave tie it in a bow right at the mid-line of my buttocks for a plumping effect. (I figured the big bow would make it look like I had some junk in my trunk. Sadly, my buttocks seem to have had an inverse growth relationship to my belly during my three pregnancies).
6:19: Quickly I slipped into my sleeveless jean jacket, installed my 1 carrot Ziamonds and popped on my favorite hat. You'll see in my photo that this hat has a long tail which tied in nicely with the tail on my skirt.
6:20: Dave and I are out the door and on our way to a dinner party at a friend's house with allot of explaining to do about my wardrobe choices.

Regardless of the absurdity of conducting my own Project Runway, I KNOW Heidi Klum would have LOVED the way I rocked bridal satin and denim




In case anyone is interested in purchasing this get-up, the tail is sold separately.

Angel of Mercy

I took my wee three to the zoo yesterday. Thankfully my angel of mercy swept my soul away to a sanctuary, so I can say with utmost certainty that there will be no long-term effects. Plus she left a sweet Oprah Martini in its place.

PS. I heard my soul is having one too.