Adieu
Despite massive protests by Dave, I did it.
I finally rid myself of the heinous microwave and despite all the evidence that my husband and a parade of scientists would present to the contrary, I know this machine is a metal devil. Do I have a shred of evidence to prove it? No, but I don't need it because I know with all the 10 trillion sentient cells in my body that this machine is problematic.
It can now take it's place in line (single file please) behind my cell phone in the land of misfit radioactive contraptions that we'll "discover" are harmful (oops!) 60 years from now.
What am I most looking forward to? No longer having to clear a 6' radius to avoid electromagnetic seepage everytime Dave heats up his coffee.
Farewell microwave. I'm going to take your pretty picture now... may you soon find yourself swooning in the middle of a big fat bidding war on ebay and bring mamma some money to buy some new postnatal undergarments
posted by Hello Kitty | 3:29 PM
4 Comments:
SOOOO much strength and power in such a little frame! Stay strong in the days to come...I know you will be facing some sort of retaliation from D.
It's all good though sista, if you have a clearer and more relaxed state of mind in the end, it's all worth the pain. Good Luck : )!
sassy undergarments?
are you trying to seduce the big D into making more babies?
remember - you can always send them our way.
i'd go for new shoes myself.
"No evidence to prove it and because I know with all the 10 trillion sentient cells in my body... etc. etc."??
Hmmm... I think you could get a lot of people to agree with that. But it would have been in the 12th CENTURY!
PARANOIA – An excessive anxiety or fear concerning one's own microwave oven which is considered irrational and excessive, perhaps to the point of being a psychosis. This typically includes persecutory beliefs concerning a likely threat by technology, or a belief in a conspiracy theory by microwave manufacturers.
Other WIVES TALES –
If you consume Pop Rocks followed by a carbonated drink, your stomach will explode and you'll die. Burying a chicken's foot in the garden cures common ailments. Eating apples with cherries increases penis size. (I might try that, just in case). Wild boars will trample you to death in your sleep if you eat bacon in your bed past midnight.
MYTHOLOGY – primarily focuses on stories that a particular culture believes to be true and which may use supernatural events or characters to explain the nature of the universe and humanity. See – "Social myths", or "Eschatological myths. " Or maybe – "draconian punishment", "draconian laws", and "draconian measures."
I know Anonymous. This is a difficult time for you. We will have to aquaint you with ancient techniques of warming items in the oven and stovetop.
Welcome to the world of SLLOOOOOOOW cooking. As I recall, you do it quite well when starting from scratch!
K
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home