Princess Clara

Once upon a time there was a Princess named Clara who had sparkling blue eyes, big cheeks, curly locks and absolutely no interest in utilizing the princess potty that her mother had spent $37.50 on. She preferred frolicking about, in a bulky diaper, dispensing emotional assertions as if only a finite amount of emotions were available to dispense and she wanted to just get it all over with and live happily ever after in a state of ambivalence.
One time, as a result of a disturbing sequence of events (Her yellow sippy cup was not available and the royal pantry was devoid of beige food products) she asserted for 180 minutes straight and it was a time of sadness for her mother who was already busy mopping up a puddle full of Zoë.
When Princess Clara wasn't dispensing emotional assertions, she could frequently be found singing to her court in a deep raspy voice and if you closed your eyes, you could imagine that she was a teenage runaway belting out "Somewhere over the rainbow" in the corner of a smoky lounge, hiding from her cruel mother.
All of the people living in her kingdom (ok so maybe just her mother) spent their nights praying that the princess would wake up in a happy mood as you could not find a more charming princess then Clara when she was happy. She would curl up in your lap, twirl her finger around her curly locks, and beam up at you in such a way that you might want to put on your dark glasses and wear 50spf sunscreen just to be safe. And she would giggle and exclaim "I really love you" as she tried to perform raspberry kisses on your cheeks, which is logistically impossible to do, when you are giggling, which would make her laugh harder and then she and everyone in her court, would lay out on the floor in a state of bliss wishing that the moment would never end.
LORD HEAR OUR PRAYER.