YARD-SALE-A-PA-LOOZA

Days come and go... Diapers are changed, mouths are fed, games are played, baby girls cry while hair clips are secured, but for one glorious day in May each year, I'm "Yard Sale Girl" and people want MY stuff! After all, I've spent my life meandering the planet wanting stuff, it's as delicious as a rhubarb pie to have people paying top penny for my goods and services! Goods like illuminated ceramic angels; services like a a smile and a bag for your products.
I'm talking about YARD-SALE-A-PA-LOOZA!
The night before Yardsaleapalooza I'm like a child on Christmas Eve, I hardly get a lick of sleep, which, frankly, contributes to my sales. My formula for selling success = sleep deptivation + 3 cups of high octane coffee + no breakfast + (1) strong mimosa during the event to combat any electrolyte imbalances. I need a clear head for negotiating after all.
This really is the only morning of the year when I wake up at 6 A.M. raring to go. I have to be ready for an 8am open down at my sister in laws where we participate in a community yard sale every year. I spend from 6-7:30 am packing the van full off stuff, then at 7:30 am I start panicking that I dont' have enough products to sell, so I start racing around the house looking for any loose objects that someone might way to purchase from me. And as I race around I sing what I call, the YARD-SALE-A-PALOOZA song and it goes something like this: "What can I sell (hands up to eyes in the formation of binoculars) What can I sell? What can I sell, sell SELL?!!!" As soon as Dave hears me singing this song (I really do it as a bit of a warning to him, which I feel is only fair) he goes into mode red, racing around mumbling obscenities while he secures and hides all products and services (ie: his coin collection and Flowbee) while I float joyfully in his wake singing my song. He knows I'll sell anything that isn't cast in gold and if its cast in gold, I'll sell it on Ebay for more money. He's really far more sentimental about objects than I am. I guess I'm a little sentimental about my Real Simple Magazines, but to boost sales I'm willing to put them out on the table for .75 cents apiece.
I digress. Once packed up, off I go to meet my fabulous sister in law and her sassy friend Missy with whom I will join forces, drink mimosa's and merchandise product for the people. Most enjoyable items for sale this year at Yard-Sale-A-Pa-Looza':
- Bathroom sink featured in photo. Sold!
- Rusty "in line" bike, called so because you can only go straight - steering wheel is stuck. SOLD (Does free count? There was a fair exchange of a product with intent to sell!)
-Selection of crappy books, including "License to Serve" about good hospitality techniques and "Sustainable Development of Island Communities" Both SOLD. 50cents each to a curious gent. Perhaps he's looking to open up a new hotel in Figi?
-Baby swing with a ½" thick coat of cat hair that I didn't have the time to remove. SOLD - $5.00

Techniques we employ for selling success at YARD-SALE-A-PA-LOOZA:
- Price products about 25% above what you want. For example, when I'm selling a product that I want to get 25 cents for, I'll price the item at 30 cents. I anticipate people will try and talk me down, so with the markup at least I've got some wiggle room.
- Greet shoppers with a smile and if they look hungry, try and sell them a donut.
- If customers are buying multiple items provide them with a plastic bag to take their items away.
- Use professional stickers with prices, including "make offer" as displayed on sink.
- Undergo a careful study study on the manipulation of price point. I just like the way that sounds.

This year, YARD-SALE-A-PA-LOOZA raked in a cool $202.50

Mad props to ma' ladeez.
The ladies of YARD-SALE-A-PA-LOOZA