Help Wanted: Pretend Cleaner

Wanted: Pretend Person to maintain and disinfect pretend household items.
Person needs to be detail oriented & have a love for plastic nooks and crannies:
You will be responsible for:
Cleaning and Disinfecting the following:
- Pretend Kitchen
- Pretend Potty
- Pretend vehicles, which are numerous
- Pretend shopping cart, cash register & scale
- Pretend food, and this aint Mother Hubbards Cupboard
- Pretend strollers

Miscellaneous tasks:
- Launder, Fold and Distribute wardrobes for 2 bitty babies and 5 other dolls
- Launder, Fold and Distribute wardrobes for Pretend Puppies & Bears
- Launder, Fold and Distribute all costumes, including 5 princess gowns, chef's outfit

Real people need not apply.
Real people shouldn't have to do this.
Real people should have had the presence of real mind to realize that they shouldn't have bought pretend things.
They should have just let the children have at it with real kitchens, real wardrobes and real vehicles, so that I, I mean they would have the time to nurture relationships with their pretend friends on Gray's Anatomy, Brothers & Sisters and The Apprentice.